Does 'fake it till you make it' actually work?
Or could the answer be staring you in the face
Last week I was giving a talk on boosting confidence. During the Q&A I was asked a common question: ‘should I just fake it till I make it?’
My answer is always no.
Why: because you don’t need to fake it. You already have it. And here’s how I know.
One morning a couple of years ago, a group of highly accomplished women received an email they’d been hoping for.
It was an invitation to interview for membership at Chief, an exclusive club for "The Most Powerful Women in Leadership." The club claimed to attract women including Amal Clooney, Diane Von Furstenburg, Jane Fonda. As well as leaders at great companies all around the world.
The email said: ‘congratulations, after reviewing your application, we have determined your professional achievements qualify for you to interview for Chief membership’.
For these already successful women: Many of them CEOs, founders, and C-level leaders, this was a dream opportunity to join an elite network.
But just hours later, another email arrived: the first had been sent by mistake to thousands of women!
There would be no interview, no membership, and no immediate entry into the club they saw as their gateway to world domination.
The fallout was huge. These women were outraged and rightly so.
But amongst the resentful posts on Linked In, another comment caught my eye.
One woman described how she’d been having a low couple of weeks. But when she got the email from Chief, the wording: ‘after your impressive achievements’ made her stop and take stock of all the things she’d actually done. She lingered proudly over her list of accomplishments. Sure it was a blow not to join the club, but the email gave her the confidence boost she needed to believe in herself again.
See! No need to fake it – it was there already.
It’s there in you too. So what’s ‘the tweak’?
‘Act as if’
Act as if they’re going to say yes
As if you’re getting that investment/ pay rise/ promotion
As if the person you’re leading deeply respects you
As if that new client needs your help (they almost certainly do)
When you act as if, you’re forced to remember all the reasons why it it’s YOU that’s uniquely placed to do what needs to be done.
What’s one thing you’d love to do but you’re too scared to try? Imagine you’ve been successful and you’re reading a magazine article describing all your achievements and qualities that led to this moment. Act ‘as if’ until you make the thing happen.
How can YOU get a boost?
Vision Writing Workshop Friday 31 Jan 1 PM is now SOLD OUT (Email me for waiting list. If you have a ticket you can’t use, let me know).
Choose your Guide Word for 2025 click this link.
Need a life audit? Start with this free tool
Access my confidence course: 6 ways to get unstuck here